You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Boobs speak an international language.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
