five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
