Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
