sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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