Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
