whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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