Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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