Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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