Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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