I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
