I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
