Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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