$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
