Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
