How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
