put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
