I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We had sex on a dog bed..
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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