Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize