Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
