Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
