Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
