Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
