guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You were trust falling into bushes
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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