I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize