I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize