is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
