Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
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