come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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