Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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