Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
