i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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