please come you make the beer taste better
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
