i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
