I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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