is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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