I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize