Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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