You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
