her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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