Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You pole danced in your parka.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
