Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
