idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
