lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
