I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
