So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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