question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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