ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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