i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
