any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
