Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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