so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
