he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
