ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
