I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
