hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize