Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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