break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
