Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
