I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
